Perhaps let's back it up a little. I was at the grocery store getting a few things for dinners and I remembered that when I was living byself at home for a couple of weeks while my parents were on holiday, my mum had brought me those microwave packets of steamed vegies in an attempt to get me to eat somewhat healthy over the time. And I did eat a reasonable amount of that out of guilt...by the end I had figured out that putting seasoning on them made a world of difference!
So as I was walking through the frozen food section, I thought maybe I should get a few of those to try to be a touch healthier. Microwave meals can only do so much. I found a few ones that sounded ok. I think one was potatoes, snowpeas and something else in a garlic butter and another was carrots, broccoli, cauliflower and something else in a cheese sauce. Ok I admit, that potato in garlic butter one sounds nice but the others were bearable. So that night for dinner I decided to do one up with some garlic toast as dinner. That day for lunch I had had a chicken caesar salad so I was particularly proud of myself for having such a healthy day.
Side note incoming...The place that does this chicken caesar has an African influence so the chicken is grilled in a peri peri type sauce. Best idea ever! The spice of the chicken mixed with the creaminess of the caesar salad makes for an brilliant combination! Definitely worth trying at home.
Back to the narrative, it wasn't until I had finished cooking the vegies and poured them onto my plate that I realised my worst nightmare. It wasn't just one serve of vegies....it looked like a lot for one person. Starting to freak out, I grabbed the packaging that was resting on top of the garbage bag and frantically scanned the packet for a serving size. A few panic stricken seconds later...there it was. "Suggested serving size : 100g"(ok, I can't remember exactly what it was or even if 100g a serve is a lot but just go with me) "Serving's per package: 3". The number 3 starred at me, taunting me, laughing hysterically at me saying "You're going to have to eat triple the amount of vegetables than you wanted"...My arms fall by my side, the packaging still loosely hanging on in between my fingertips. I was in disbelief for what had started as a guilt driven experiment had turned into a challenge that no man should face. My flight or fight instincts kicked in and in a whirlwind, I grabbed and holster my two trusty weapons, salt & pepper. With a POW! and WHAM! I had assaulted (no pun intended) the vegetables with my weaponary. I picked up my fork, staring back at the vegetables which were seemingly eyeing me down and I uttered my final words..."Meet your maker!"
Vegetables were flying left and right, some even making their way into my mouth. I was in a zone, a zone I had never been before. I could hardly believe what I was doing demolishing these vegetables. I had no control, it was like I was a merely a spectator to my body. Continuing on at frenzied pace, I was soon making a meal of these vegetables (again, no pun intended). Slowly I was winning the battle, the remaining vegetables slowly become more fearful for their existence the further I went. Soon my pace slowed, I could feel my intent weakening. I could feel the despair of defeat closing in on me. But my intent remained...I took one final look at the vegetables, seeing how far I had come.
I was not going to be defeated. I was going to be victorious. I was going to finish my vegetables. I.will.win.
Closing my eyes, I powered on until the vegetables were no more. The empty plate in front of me, merely a reminder of what I had accomplished. As soon as the final piece had slid down my throat, I slumped back into my chair. The war was over. It was done. I had lived to fight another day, feeling stronger by what I had done. I will return and I fight the good fight once more.
P.S So I so intended those puns!! How good were they!!
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